I have not dropped the ball on daily posting, I promise, I just had an interesting thing happen yesterday, It was my birthday, and I truly embraced the self indulgence of the day. I really wanted it to be all about me. I spent a lovely day with my husband, we went to yoga, had a nice lunch, did some shopping, saw a movie and had a fabulous dinner at a Michelin rated restaurant. That's what I call a damn near perfect day. This birthday was very different from last years, when my mom's passing was SO fresh, this time, I looked back on the past year, as one always does on these benchmark occasions, and thought about how lucky I was. Lucky to have such sweet daughters, lucky to have my husband, and my friends. I let myself be happy. I don't have many friends my age that have lost their parents, especially both parents, but one of my friends that has, once said to me: "There will be a time that you will not be grieving as often, and that may bring you guilt." Wow, was he right. Please don't get me wrong, I still feel my grief, very often acutely, but it comes in waves, (PS pain and grief also teach you this nifty trick called compartmentalization, where you have to stow it away sometimes, just to make it through a day) I missed my mom desperately yesterday, her call, her card, her love. But I focused on what I have, more than what I have lost.
Yesterday I wore one of my favorite rings from my mom, a big chunky brass number that looks like a piece of a glamourous meteorite. I paired it with a dress I got in Paris, and my new birthday sandals. xo