Day 48....

Better late than never?

 Black Bag....

Black Bag....

I know this post is woefully late in the day.  Does it count that my husband is out of town, I have been working full time, and have to pack our family up to leave for spring break in the am?  In my book, uh, yeah, it does.  Also, this bag does not make me feel warm and fuzzy.  I recently mentioned that it was my birthday, and that I have been doing a lot of looking at where I am know compared to last year.  I took this bag out last Friday.  I had not used it in a long time.  When I opened it, the memorial card from my mom's funeral was in it.  I was not prepared to look at it and put it on my dresser.  For some bizarre reason (or not) I still don't want to look at it.  I'll never forget being in the funeral home, being asked what picture I wanted on it and what I wanted the quote to be.  It was such a strange time, making decisions about memorial cards and flowers.  It had been the second time in as many years that I had to do that (losing my father previously), and I have to say, it's weird.  There is a god given gift of strength, that helps you muscle through those times.  You imagine it before it happens and think "I will never be able to do/handle this" but you do, you soldier on, because you have to.  Because if you didn't, who knows what the damn card would say, or what the flowers would look like. Because I knew in my heart of hearts, that my mother did care about those things, and so I found the strength. So that bag, that I had not worn since my mother's funeral, had it's first outing since then.  And it made me think.  But instead of making me sad, it made me feel strong. xo